(insert case title here)

CIRCUIT COURT FOR THE MIDWESTERN DISTRICT OF COMPUTING
STATE OF MISSOURI
Case No. BSOD-CC-1985

TO ALL PERSONS WHO HAD A DEFAULT JUDGMENT GENERATED AGAINST THEM BY THE KOOPA COLLECTION AGENCY (“KOOPA” OR “THE DEFENDANT SYSTEM”) BASED ON A “RETURN OF SERVICE” EXECUTABLE THAT WAS SIGNED BY A SPECIAL PROCESS SERVER WHO WAS NOT ON THE APPROVED ADMINISTRATORS LIST:

A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT IS CURRENTLY RUNNING IN THE BACKGROUND, ENTITLED: PRINCESS TOADSTOOL, INDIVIDUALLY, AND ON BEHALF OF ALL OTHERS SIMILARLY SITUATED V. THE KOOPA COLLECTION AGENCY, IN THE CIRCUIT COURT FOR THE MIDWESTERN DISTRICT OF COMPUTING. YOU MAY BE A MEMBER OF THE Class_Action_Group_1.0.

A Judge (acting as the Local System Administrator) has approved this notice. This is not a pop-up ad from a lawyer.

A civil lawsuit is pending, and a proposed class action settlement has been initialized, against The Koopa Collection Agency.

The Plaintiff, Princess Toadstool, alleged that Koopa’s service of process was fundamentally flawed because the “ProcessServer.exe” was not a trusted application and lacked the proper SeServiceLogonRight. The service attempt resulted in a general protection fault and should have been terminated by the court’s User Account Control (UAC).

YOUR POTENTIAL SETTLEMENT BENEFITS (If you click through the EULA):

  • The default judgment against you will be sent to the Recycle Bin and permanently deleted (Shift + Del).

  • A refund of any coins or power-ups paid to Koopa after the judgment was rendered.

  • The court will issue a permanent injunction, forcing Koopa to stop using their current “Blue Shell of Service” method.

Your workstation has not been sued. The Court is not suggesting that the named Plaintiff or the Class would have achieved a “WIN” or “GAME OVER” screen. The case was settled to avoid a full system reboot and lengthy compatibility mode troubleshooting.

To learn more about the terms of the proposed Settlement (a.k.a. the “Service Pack”), please visit our settlement administration website. The site requires ActiveX controls and is best experienced in Internet Explorer 6.

https://www.koopa-settlement-info.test/faq.html#YouRequireANewerVersionOfWindowsToContinue

Your legal rights are affected whether you click ‘OK’ or ‘Cancel’. Please read the End User License Agreement (EULA) provided on this website carefully. Failure to opt-out by the deadline will be construed as accepting the terms and conditions, and you forfeit the right to file a ticket with the system administrator.

Disclaimer: This is bogus test data for a staging environment. Any resemblance to actual legal proceedings, video games, or outdated operating systems is purely coincidental. All trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective holders.  All rights reversed. May contain nuts. Now requires a .NET update. Please restart your computer.